I have always been pretty skilled in comforting people on the little worries of life. Even when I was in the 2nd grade (my first year in public school) I was able to help people with their problems. I would show them what their choices were and help them make decisions on their own.
I continue to be good at doing it in most situations. Problems that seem to have no solution for the one with the problem are something I am easily able to help them to solve.
My problems, my personal problems, are something I fumble, and stumble through. My problems, my own difficulties in life make me believe everyone is out to get me for no reason, and through no fault of my own, until I take a step back and look at things through someone else's eyes. That oftentimes clears up my murky vision, leading to answers and truths I wasn't aware of. I become more enlightened of myself every time I do this, though it remains just as hard to do as when I first started doing this.
Perhaps this is because for people who aren't me, I can step back and look at things objectively, not emotionally. With my problems, this isn't something easily achieved because in all honesty, I am a very emotional person. It is very difficult to hold my own emotions under control, but in order to solve conflicts in my own life I find I must do this.
It may seem a bit ironic though, that I am very skilled in helping others to solve their problems. Their problems, their lives, not mine, so they aren't my emotions. Their challenges cease to be real. Instead they become logic problems for me to solve, not through emotions, but through just that, logic. Life isn't as simple as always being logical, but if it isn't my life I don't understand this.
This is made strikingly clear when someone close to me has a problem though. Not my mother, not my best girlfriend, not my little sister. No, only one friend of mine am I so close to, even when we aren't speaking, that I can't look at things in an objective fashion as I do with everyone else. I simply can't. God how I tried to tonight. It would have made things so much easier. But I could be of no comfort to this friend, at least, not in the way I can be to anyone else.
Yet, this friend always seems to call me when a problem arises that is very large. I pray I am of some help to this friend, although I have no idea how I could be. Tonight I did very little. I fumbled and stumbled through awkward conversations that I hoped to God would keep his thoughts off of his problems. If it helped at all, I'd be surprised.
Honest to God though, I felt helpless. I could say nothing, really, about the situation. I knew nothing about how he could be feeling, unless I was to arrogantly assert I had ever been involved in something like it. I have not, not even close. I wanted so badly to take the easy way out and say something falsely "comforting", if only to comfort myself. But to assert that things would become better, when they more than likely would not for a while, is a loophole of a lie. I cannot do that, not to myself, and not to this close friend.
So I listened as patiently as I could, and tried so hard to not say something stupid. And it was one of the harder things I've had to do in my life, just sit and listen as my friend told me about his problem.
I hope he isn't angry about me writing this if he reads it. I really hope he isn't, but he's really important to me. I want him to know that. If everything else is going wrong, I'll try my best to help, even if that means I don't do what anyone else does and tell him everything will work itself out, as if it will by the time he wakes up. If he can even sleep tonight that is.
I'll pray that things do work out for this friend of mine. Even if I'm not sure what else to do, I can pray. Something has to help. Something
----------------
Now playing:
Within Temptation - Bittersweet
Violent Femmes - Please Do Not Go
via FoxyTunes
I continue to be good at doing it in most situations. Problems that seem to have no solution for the one with the problem are something I am easily able to help them to solve.
My problems, my personal problems, are something I fumble, and stumble through. My problems, my own difficulties in life make me believe everyone is out to get me for no reason, and through no fault of my own, until I take a step back and look at things through someone else's eyes. That oftentimes clears up my murky vision, leading to answers and truths I wasn't aware of. I become more enlightened of myself every time I do this, though it remains just as hard to do as when I first started doing this.
Perhaps this is because for people who aren't me, I can step back and look at things objectively, not emotionally. With my problems, this isn't something easily achieved because in all honesty, I am a very emotional person. It is very difficult to hold my own emotions under control, but in order to solve conflicts in my own life I find I must do this.
It may seem a bit ironic though, that I am very skilled in helping others to solve their problems. Their problems, their lives, not mine, so they aren't my emotions. Their challenges cease to be real. Instead they become logic problems for me to solve, not through emotions, but through just that, logic. Life isn't as simple as always being logical, but if it isn't my life I don't understand this.
This is made strikingly clear when someone close to me has a problem though. Not my mother, not my best girlfriend, not my little sister. No, only one friend of mine am I so close to, even when we aren't speaking, that I can't look at things in an objective fashion as I do with everyone else. I simply can't. God how I tried to tonight. It would have made things so much easier. But I could be of no comfort to this friend, at least, not in the way I can be to anyone else.
Yet, this friend always seems to call me when a problem arises that is very large. I pray I am of some help to this friend, although I have no idea how I could be. Tonight I did very little. I fumbled and stumbled through awkward conversations that I hoped to God would keep his thoughts off of his problems. If it helped at all, I'd be surprised.
Honest to God though, I felt helpless. I could say nothing, really, about the situation. I knew nothing about how he could be feeling, unless I was to arrogantly assert I had ever been involved in something like it. I have not, not even close. I wanted so badly to take the easy way out and say something falsely "comforting", if only to comfort myself. But to assert that things would become better, when they more than likely would not for a while, is a loophole of a lie. I cannot do that, not to myself, and not to this close friend.
So I listened as patiently as I could, and tried so hard to not say something stupid. And it was one of the harder things I've had to do in my life, just sit and listen as my friend told me about his problem.
I hope he isn't angry about me writing this if he reads it. I really hope he isn't, but he's really important to me. I want him to know that. If everything else is going wrong, I'll try my best to help, even if that means I don't do what anyone else does and tell him everything will work itself out, as if it will by the time he wakes up. If he can even sleep tonight that is.
I'll pray that things do work out for this friend of mine. Even if I'm not sure what else to do, I can pray. Something has to help. Something
----------------
Now playing:
Within Temptation - Bittersweet
Violent Femmes - Please Do Not Go
via FoxyTunes
2 comments:
Thank you for your comment. I find it far more creepy thinking of people reading my blog without saying anything. I've had too many stalkers in my day. ;)
Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to visit again.
Have a good one.
Thanks again. :) I've been blogging a long... long time. I'm going on 9 years soon, although this is a new home for me. Most of my random ranting still goes on another site but I am sure this one will see its fair share.
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